holy mutha fucks!

tonight i hit a grand slam out of the stadium. i think this one went 320 ft on the fly. it was a mother fuckin shot. i knew it as soon as it left my bat and i watched it go out as i was walking down the 1st baseline. dude, that shit was ridunkulous.

even people in the stands were giving me props for the shot. we won like 13-5 and i made all the plays in right center. i think i had at least 5 put outs, 1 being a shoe string.

after the game the blue came to talk to me and told me that it was the farthest shot hed seen ever as a ref in the irvine leagues. he also said hed never seen a grand slam. he wants to recruit me for his nationals fast pitch team. he was telling me how they travel together and everything is paid for and shit.

but seriously it was a fuckin shot for a single wall bat. and the thing is i didnt even swing with max effort. but man, it felt so fuckin good coming off the bat. but seriously, with the way ive been training the past month and if i keep it up, im seriously going to be raking. its going to be a fuckin awesome ride man. i am going to be the most feared hitter in socal. hahah

one more thing

oh yeah and if on big brother 8 i see one more fuckin scene of:

1. amber crying
2. amber praying for gods help to win
3. jameka hailing marys and crying about her love for god
4. jameka praising god
5. amber or jameka praying for gods will to win big brother competitions

i will seriously fuckin throw out my tv.

i think gods got better things to do than help you win a fuckin game show u stupid whore bitches.

it will not define me

after reading over my old xanga blog from a few years ago and nearly puking my internal organs out, i promised myself that i would never let a girl define me or my blog. but im just going to say this about the new girl in my life right now, "could this be?"

played the first game of the new season and hit a HR in my first at bat. the hardest hit ball from either team tonight playing in upper D. glad to get hthe first HR out of the way. hopefully just the first of many.

its crazy cause im by no means the biggest player on the field but i seriously hit the ball harder and further than almost everyone else ive seen except in a couple of tourneys.

so yeah, i think things are taking a turn for the better and im feeling good about the new season. i think im going to take it to the next level and im ready to rake.

im max benching almost 275 now. i can do the standing curl at almost 125. im just so much stronger than ive ever been in my life. its insane and its results are on the field no doubt. ive started doing new core exercises as well which was killing my abs but i can actually see definition now. its amazing what can be accomplished with some discipline and putting your mind to it.

seemingly futile

its so hard and ever so frustrating when u know ur so fucked up when it comes to relationships with girls. at least the ones of the supposed romantic of nature. its fucked up because u know what u want but almost sure u will never allow urself to get there.

i keep having this fucked up reoccurring dream of smallville and tom welling and kristin kreuk. i got to believe it has long been due to my fascination with the ending of the original pilot episode when lifehouse plays this song called everything. ive always felt that that moment was a moment in time.

lately ive been listening to this song by lifehouse called blind and its crazy when a song literally embodies all that is significant.

blind by lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
and still I have the pain I have to carry
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go

for love of thy sneakers

damn, i just ordered 2 more pairs of shoes from zappos tonight. 2 different color schemes of the same style, the saucony floor lords, which i saw featured in mens fitness today. the red ones below were the last in size 9.5. sweet! with free overnight shipping and not tax... $130. they had a feature this month on sneakers and these ones totally stood out, they look dope! in the last couple of months my sneaker collections has grown by like 5 pairs. for love of thy sneakers!