Tuesday, September 18, 2007

learning weird shit

a lapse in judgment leads to a violation of all the rules.

consistency and a dependent ear are new revelations.

abercrombie is to american eagle as tiffany is to generic bull shit

on and off like a spigot

dont be a bitch

follow the rules

Sunday, September 9, 2007

eight below

as if i didnt already know that i was a lil bitch, after watching this movie again on bluray, knowing what to expect i bawled out even harder and longer than the first time i saw it. the only thing i had going for me was that i was watching it in the comfort and privacy of my own place. jesus, it was fuckin bad. probably the worst cry ive ever had. at the end i was literally a face full of snot and poured on like a shower. dude i couldnt even breathe cause my nose was all clogged. i seriously can only watch this movie like twice a year cause it seriously fucks me up.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

dizzy died today

so today was that inevitable day. in the past year when my parents left for vacation or trips i had the pleasure of taking care of dizzy our family pet since i was 14. but i could tell his last days were coming up, but im sure he deserved a better fate.



i picked up my mom and sister from the airport this morning and when i took them home my mom found dizzy in a little puddle of blood and there were like flies and maggots on him and stuff. my mom broke down into tears and carried him to the sink to wash him but you could see he was limp and just barely hanging on. while my mom had been up in sf for the past couple weeks taking care of my sister whod got in an accident, my dad had been taking care of dizzy. and lets just say my dad is not very good with animals and with that sort of responsibility. im sure dizzy was a bit neglected. when i took care of dizzy i made sure to wake up early to feed him and force him to eat and stuff.



it was really sad. w/o getting into too much detail id been feeling really bad and nearly preparing myself for this day based on what id seeen of dizzy the last few times hed been under my care. hed lost nearly all his senses and would shriek at night out of the blue. the first time he did it, scared the shit out of murphy.



my mom decided to euthanize dizzy and i couldnt agree more. a part of my wanted to suggest it a few months ago but i just couldnt. but today... today was that day. as my mom was washing him, she was bawling cause he had maggots and flies coming out of his ears and eyes.



it was weird too, because i took my mom to the vet and i had to comfort my mom. which is probably the first time ive ever had to or felt the need to. i always thought when this day came, i would be crying but as sad as i felt, i just couldnt get the tears out. might be because im trying to focus on the good i remember of dizzy.



like that we rescued him from the pound and of a near certain fate. and he got to live another 16 amazing years. i named him dizzy once we brought him back home and the first walk, when he had to poo he did this whole spinning thing and i was like, "dizzy!" the times where i got punished in high school and my dad made me sleep on the garage floor with dizzy. the first time i drove around with dizzy in my car and he jumped out the window while i was at a light on orange and walker.



yes, i missed the better part of the last 10 years. pretty much when i graduated from high school and went on to college, we didnt have the same kind of relationship, but thats really i think when my moms and dizzys grew.



i guess ultimately it just puts a lot in perspective. that our time here in finite. to make the most what we have left. to live with no regrets.



in loving memory

http://www.dogster.com/dogs/39331